How redefining strength and rethinking masculinity can improve men's health

Society often teaches men to “tough it out” and keep quiet, but at Advance Community Health, providers like Kerry Mackey are helping to shift that narrative. Learn how rethinking masculinity can lead to better mental and physical health outcomes for men, and why vulnerability is a strength worth embracing.

Toxic Masculinity

For many men, strength is measured by how much they can carry pressure, pain, and expectations without letting it show. But at Advance Community Health, Kerry Mackey, PA-C, is working to challenge that idea daily.

"I work at the intersection of primary care and behavioral health, providing integrative support to individuals across the lifespan," Mackey said. "My work involves treating everything from hypertension to trauma-related disorders, often in the same visit."

In his day-to-day work, Mackey sees how societal expectations around masculinity can lead men to hide emotional distress.

"Many men mask emotional distress with stoicism," he said. "It's not uncommon for symptoms like fatigue or chest discomfort to point to deeper issues like anxiety or grief."

Mental health includes emotional, psychological, and social well-being. While both men and women experience mental health conditions, some disorders — like attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) — are diagnosed more often in men. Men also die by suicide at significantly higher rates than women, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The suicide rate among males in 2023 was nearly four times higher than the rate among females. Men comprise 50% of the population but account for nearly 80% of suicides.

But symptoms don't always show up the way people expect. In men, mental health issues can appear as irritability, aggression, risky behaviors, or unexplained physical complaints like chronic headaches or stomach pain. Mackey notes they may also show up as withdrawal, sleep changes, or overworking to avoid emotional pain.

"These are red flags, even if the person insists they're 'fine,'" he said.

If men don't feel safe speaking up, these signs often go unnoticed or are treated too late. That's why Mackey makes a point of asking about mental health the same way he asks about blood pressure or diet as normalization breaks down barriers. Asking simple, open-ended questions like 'How are you coping with stress?' or 'What's been weighing on you lately?' can plant the seed even when patients aren't ready to open up immediately.

"Mental health is not a character flaw or weakness," he said. "Being proactive about your mental health doesn't diminish your strength. It reinforces it."

This hesitation isn't just a personal choice, it's part of a broader trend. Men are less likely than women to seek preventive care or mental health treatment. Many also delay care until a health issue becomes serious.

"We often see advanced medical conditions, higher suicide risk, and chronic stress-related illness in men who avoid care until there's a crisis," Mackey said.

Cultural pressure to appear emotionally "tough" is part of the problem. Studies show some men associate asking for help with losing social status or appearing weak. That belief makes them less likely to speak up, even during medical appointments.

Systemic factors play a role, too. From a young age, girls are often encouraged to visit doctors regularly. Boys may miss out on that early comfort with care unless they play sports and need physicals. Distrust in the medical system, especially among Black men, adds another layer of complexity — often rooted in personal experiences and ongoing inequities.

At Advance Community Health, Mackey and his team work to break those barriers.

"A man can come in for back pain and leave with a plan to address anxiety," he said. "Our team meets patients where they are physically, emotionally, and culturally."

Sometimes, loved ones are the first to notice a change. Mackey encourages people to approach those moments with care.

"Use observations rather than accusations for example, 'I've noticed you've been more quiet lately, and I'm worried about you,'" he said. "Just knowing someone cares can open the door."

As a man himself, Mackey also aligns with how heavy these expectations can feel.

"I understand the silent pressures many men carry to perform, to provide, and to persevere, often without pause. Those expectations are familiar to me, and they inform how I listen, how I validate, and how I introduce the idea that strength and vulnerability are not opposites."

Changing the culture around men's health starts with changing the conversation.

"We redefine strength by telling different stories — stories where courage looks like reaching out, and resilience includes rest and reflection," he said. "It starts in barbershops, locker rooms, boardrooms, and churches, wherever men gather and form identity. We have to model it, speak it, and support it until the stigma no longer stands."

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